His wife how to do derailment

 Derailed his wife how to do?
Visitors:
I am 30 years old, in Beijing, college, graduate school, and then the work of a foreign enterprise in Beijing, the income also. Has two suites. My wife is a gentle inward woman, also working for foreign companies. We recognize the 2003 understanding, 2006 to get married. Mrs. Master for working, so did not want children. I feel very good feeling between us. out and the family's eyes, we are all being a pair of envy. I gave my all the family and her. she was also very nice to me. my wife a very competent, meticulous care of me. She not only swept most of the housework, and every day I wear tidy clothes, prepare breakfast. Although she is also a Master of prestigious universities, particularly good temper, I make a decision by the things at home, make a decision.
did not expect to June 2009, I came with her phone calls and found one of her foreign clients just sent a text message ambiguous, I think it a bit wrong. I have never seen her cell phone, but nearly a year after her performance at home, recall that there are some unusual . In the past she was not interested in sex and sometimes refused to me, but as long as I'm at home last year, she always seemed to satisfy me.
in my questioning, my wife has finally revealed her extramarital affair. the original I travel often, and sometimes even to foreign countries. I went abroad last year, during the small matter of her family, she is not particularly happy, she's a particularly good relationship with her client made a special trip to Beijing abroad to see her, ask her to dinner, chat with her, she was touched by this customer, and two people in the hotel ate, chatted, drank a bottle of red wine in the hotel occurred after a sexual relationship. The client was 15 years older than she, the children were in high school . do not know what reason, my wife and him will have passion. after a period of more than a year as long as they have the opportunity to rendezvous with.
Consultant:
Why did your wife to go off? with You say things that derailed after her performance of that? she is not also entangled with her clients?
visitors:
My wife said she did not love this man, but this man does have a fascinating place that he could see the state of human weakness, and will seize the opportunity to comfort you, very pleasant to say a few words. because he was 40 years old, more experienced, more mature, I know not, and his wife have a long relationship, but she could not control myself sometimes, I feel life is some relationship between husband and wife can adjust the stimulation.
She is always so fond of me. Before I found out later she immediately cut off contact with the man, and she prayed me to forgive her give me down .. she said all her fault, but also like a little girl, naive, and begged me to forgive her.
Consultant:
you accept your wife derailed this? can not forgive her? Do you still love her?
visitors:
problem lies here, I can not forgive her! I almost immediately thought of lying in bed with the man she and her passion for the scene in bed . At first I did not sleep. This went on for nearly 3 months. recently able to sleep, but no one can be happy, I've tried many ways to comfort myself, but to no avail. because I She saw the anger there will be unknown. I Qiaobu Shang bones to such acts, and now have to convince myself and live my life this is really not willing to, but do not want to live such a useless life, I have a better life in the pursuit of marriage, but in reality have to let me choose whether to continue or give up is painful. I can not beat themselves, but can not open one eye and close the life. Every day is like in purgatory.
I love her now is, how deep love, hate, have multiple. I continue to repeat, continue to take a moment to live with her, give her a chance; moment feel worn out, adhere to not go on, like a divorce.
Consultant:
your wife and some of his who is more active, close to what extent? Why do you think she derailed?
Advisory off:
before I found They contact every day, and almost all of my wife take the initiative and contact the man. be my wife after the man, not cold not hot, but my wife was getting hot. she had depression after intimate relations go in deeper and deeper. In fact, her man no love, she is clear is that much passion, I felt a feeling their trust, their own greed. She said she is expecting two love greedy woman. I'm nice to her, whether it is spiritual or material. Her clothes are not less than every 3 digits. that she was born in fortunate, and was spoiled.
her parents are civil servants, but often quarrel, the family is not happy, her father often beat her, causing her childhood insecurities, like to be love, so when someone she cares about, she will move. The decision of the She has a particularly good temperament on the outside, have a strong self-esteem, but at home and actually become very casual, very easy to control by others.
Consultant:
this matter to now only the two of you know what?
consultative
this thing off I have told my best friend, my family and her family.
Consultant:
what attitude they?
Advisory off:
My family let me not into a dead end, cheer up, give her a chance. because they believe that nature is good my wife, not skittish. but I could not escape her own is cheating on me, and her with that man's style. My wife particularly good temperament, but body beauty. think of her being hugged, I can not stand.
my friend told me there are reasons that things I said, great wife I have, what it for her and she felt in me was, after all you want want more, because people will never know enough. I think this reason may be reasonable, but I ask, I'm a husband, dedicated to home, for She even lost its self what is wrong with it?
we are the closest person, but she was implacable in my love, our happy family was buried. In her affair more than a year, she had been immersed the joy of the affair, simply do not realize what she felt the slightest error or guilt, the man continued to write love letters, send text messages. a man to forgive his wife had an affair because of good reason, such as his lack of concern for long periods at home or so, I can not forgive.
Consultant:
her family how to look?
Advisory off:
her family is one of the reasons for my pain. Her parents feud. After this happened I can not stand to tell her parents. parents that she not only did not, but think I handled this the wrong thing, should not let their parents know. Maybe I was a bit too much to do, I rushed them to complain about my Mrs. moral hazard, more than two years of marriage gave me was wearing a green cap. It gives them the feeling that I was not very mature, like a receives a grievance to redress grievances of children everywhere.
Consultant:
from see you on your description of your wife's derailment to heart, then your sexual relationship with her is harmonious then?
Advisory off:
should say my wife and I are very harmonious relationships between. Each at least 4 times weekly. She is very open in this regard, the behavior is particularly bold, this is the reason why I married her. We got married years without children, but also want to enjoy more years of br> Consultant:
This is how you feel, but also most of the men described the relationship between marital sex. In the years of married life you have not confirmed whether your wife is very satisfied with sexual relations?
Advisory Customer:
she should be very satisfied with it. each sex when she was very with me, but also take the initiative to change positions. But the interview with you to remind me to some things. should say that my sexual needs are quite more, but my wife is very sexy woman. do sometimes, or some performance when she does not seem particularly strong, and occasionally I felt as if she is to meet my Side. But I did not think so, the weakness of her Instead, I think she was particularly gentle and lovely.
Consultant:
to now, your wife should be approximately the derailment problem clear. you want to consult what you can achieve goals?
Advisory off:
I still do not get rid of the pain of his wife cheating. I want a divorce, but who can guarantee that after marriage the wife later there will not be derailed behavior? Upon my honor you say, my wife, I love the third woman in the world . The first two girlfriends are living together more than a year later because I want people to leave. But, and they are not married, so I though the pain, but still able to self-comfort, the wife of the derailment is really hit me too. but really want a divorce, we established a good after several years of marriage and the family will become the painful memories. I do not want to leave my wife is for this reason.
but I do not know that we do not divorce Can be happy, and I asked her what I did wrong with it, she said no, and I do not know why she always derailed? that man and I'm better than them apart from older than I, there are not any advantages, perhaps he is lover, a better understanding of the woman now. I have gas, however, to call his wife. did not think his wife knew he was a macho man, she had to accept their fate. She also advised me to want to open point. It is also not to go outside to find a lover. is really outrageous.
Consultant:
your wife want to divorce you?
Advisory off:
I cried it comes to divorce my wife not a stop. Before I knew this thing, our relationship is very good, very few red-faced. Now the conflict between us is growing. it just happens we are often noisy, mainly because I get angry, anxious to kill that man. sometimes blame my wife. A few months later, while not a fight, but both men seem to fall into the mutual suspicion and can not face the embarrassment of the other state. I always think of her derailment scene, feel sick. She always see me preoccupied, I thought I no longer perfect in front of me and competent wife and I have the courage and confidence to resume normal life.
I am confused that I should divorce, broken free from the past shadow, start a new life? or maintain our current marriage? Either choice can not solve all my problems. I hope that through consultation to help after I made a choice to have the ability to solve new problems.
Consultant:
no matter what choice you make, you'd better be in several ways, and your wife quiet, calm place to do some more in-depth communication. because in your statement there were some problems, they will and women affect your intimate relationships. specific about there are so few,
First, if your sexual relationship between the real harmony? often with her husband, the wife of harmony is not a sexual relationship with others. is not The man know how a woman's requirements?
Second, if you think your wife is more like a nanny? or the wife in your eyes like a pet?
third is between you usually have no depth thoughts, such as philosophical level exchanges? you and your wife have any hobbies?
If you talk about these issues clear, you and she probably knows how to deal with the relationship between two people of the future.