American psychologist Professor Rosenthal has done an experiment in a class roster, he randomly draw the names of several students, and then tell the teacher, these students passed his test, is particularly high IQ students. by the remarks of the teacher really think these kids were bright, smart hh A year later the results of several children in the class ahead. what the child is seen as, what was said, was how to deal with, in a short period of time, will become the child's reality.
confused mother: how to let his son better?
Ke Teacher: Hello!
always liked looking at your blog, you teach children how to give us a lot of good suggestions, I have always like to see this article, but feel that there are some problems.
I am having two sons kindergarten teacher older, was state-owned kindergarten, the teacher is not so kind, regardless of the child cried, talked the heavier with the child, allowing kids to be afraid of the teacher so formed characteristic. went on to primary school, I took the initiative to communicate with the teacher, the teacher told him good, but her teachers always have some stiff, unlike what other kids do things look for the teacher. The teacher also reflects that he is not love words, if the lack of point of self-confidence. but in everyday life, especially after leaving school he is more assertive, but also love to speak in front of friends and family, said he was articulate. I do not know how to get him in school and in life become the same, where it can be full of confidence.
he has a problem is slow, the time to do things easily deserted. in learning it, he accepted the teacher a new lesson soon, classroom performance is good, but the teacher assignments, he moves to slow down, but the results always belonged to the middle and upper. then we transfer him, and just started school he has a fresh, over a period of time, the situation appeared slow to move . can not do homework is not, but always have to open some small difference. We would also like a lot of way to motivate him to do his homework ah what the prescribed time, but he often can not finish in the allotted time, and this time should be sufficient The.
addition to homework, the food, ah, what to do other things, ah, always half a beat slower than their peers, we went to check his blood, his zinc deficiency, calcium deficiency, more serious, we have to He added, his intelligence did not find any problems, but often show a very clever boy. acceptance quickly, understanding enough to give one thing he said he would more likely than their peers to understand what we mean, is not like other children do love to fight first, if not the first fight does not matter. Every time when compared with others, what he always ask: Are there any slower than I did doing worse? he there is no dispute that the first sense of the time playing with the children also often play with the kind of behind in others, not take the lead in the children ideas.
Ke teacher, I said you can address these issues, to I have some good advice? (a confused mother)
Ke Yunlu: every day to find a reason to praise the child
In my opinion, your children well, no big problem, no need to confusion.
I've often heard some parents complain their children chronic, do not worry, things do not know the step. In fact, children often than not, slow-moving character of the reasons but too good parental care. now mostly only one child, a child above a number of adults worry about, whether living or study, adults in the rear end always like to urge and remind the child goes without any initiative.
such as the children get up early to go to school, have not washed my face, hurried to eat, no time to get dressed down their jobs, parents have been carrying bags, etc. in the side. children home from school, school bags not open, parents have been nagging lose to learn a kind of remark, made a very rebellious child. In addition, work too much, and many families also arranged outside of normal school extra-curricular tasks, tutorial, and so a variety of disciplines. the child will think, even seize the time to complete the job, the same No time to play. This would inevitably mean that children become bored, they simply waste time either. If another way, appropriate to reduce the burden on children's learning, and tell the child if homework ahead of time, allowing him to play like video games or play with peers I believe most children will not only lose and there will be a great initiative.
play is the child's nature, must give the child enough play time.
In addition, such as removing some of the innate character of a child born mm impatient, some children born to chronic mm dragging the child to work, mostly from the parents where to find a cause, not to drop the total number of children. only from the mentioned in your letter questioning the child's sentence: slow done worse, smart intelligence is no problem, no need to make it fill it, which makes the child know what to do, or really think they have any shortcomings. I believe that no child will be like from the subjectively poor results, do not think that only the parents of the child's performance sensitive. standing child point of view, his face every day when school teachers and students, face a variety of tests, like the athletes are in track, how does not want outstanding results? but requires the child everything the first fight, not only practical , and the price is too high, the results are not necessarily ideal. the existing education system there are still many unreasonable place, stylized teaching creative thinking on the growth of children is often the opposite effect. Moreover, the so-called first, always only one, Most children can not be when the first, not even when the second and third, but this does not prevent those who do not fight to the first second and third children's growth and happiness. It should also be seen that many children walk with good academic results on social development is not satisfactory after, this is because the school education in addition to book knowledge, very few things to their richer. we see many of the School scores at first, but they can also live a very promising and make achievements. human capacity is a comprehensive, exam performance is a reflection of ability, but the capacity may not be entirely reflected in the results of examination.
You talked about his confusion, I hope I give advice, then, if you let me point out that in the current issue of family education, we must first have confidence in the children, truly believe that he is a healthy and wise up boy. the same time, children weaknesses to be good positive guidance to encourage him to even very tiny bit of progress.
Ke teacher left you a job: one month's time each day to find a real reason for the child or harm, such as today's adults do not press will be able to get up, such as clean work written over the previous few days, such as eating focus, such as the family is very polite to the guests, such as small class can take the initiative to help students, such as help you do a little housework , and so on.
children grow, change every day. parents of children who must be good at discovering those positive changes. such as the thirst for knowledge the child, the child's good and simple. who have a positive performance in time, and encouragement.
you mentioned the child's personality, that the child at home a silver tongue, relative to schools within that environment may be different from the character of the child. the lack of expression in schools initiative, the reason to specific analysis. self-confidence is very important to child growth and success of the quality, not confident there will be no creativity. However, the cultivation of self-confidence to have a process, in addition to patience, we should also have methods. can take the initiative and teachers to communicate course good, but usually, when we can not fully grasp the objective environment, to emphasize the subjective efforts, here mainly refers to you as a mother's efforts. through you sincerely appreciate and encourage your child know that he had many advantages, but also improving day by day. let him know his mother loved him very much, and proud of him.
, of course, every praise must be sincere, realistic, and can not be unprincipled favor, not to shield their mistakes.
a lack of confidence in the mother before the child, the face of the external world can not have full confidence. the child's childhood, his mother is facing the biggest external environment. mother frowned, blame one, may think no big deal, but heart in young children, but it may be the world's most severe judge of his. Similarly, the mother of a smile, a sincere compliment the mother will make the child more confident, inspired the creation of his great enthusiasm and the enthusiasm up. < br> Special to stress that other children can never take the advantages and strengths and weaknesses and the weaknesses of their children than it would hurt the child's self-esteem, is not conducive to the growth of children.
do so, a month After that there will be major changes in your child.
hope you are no longer confused, when a successful mother. (Ke Yunlu)
Ke Yunlu: How to Make college entrance exam?
( a) The Act established a new image
aspects: the image of wise, strong image, healthy image, moral image, free images, outstanding modern consciousness.
wise image of the specific performance: intelligent, imaginative, love brains, learning ability, creativity .
strong image of the specific performance: self-reliance, independence, self-confident, not afraid of difficulties, dare say, on the one reasonable manner.
image manifested itself: love of learning, make progress, broad interests, cheerful and lively.
healthy image specific performance: physical health, mental health, rarely sick. moral image of the specific performance: good interest and understanding of others, to understand right and wrong, to understand good and evil, there is social adaptability. should have the best of modern consciousness: sense of independence, determination, competition, struggle consciousness, awareness, awareness of benefits, money consciousness, social awareness and so on.
designed for children when the parents of an ideal image, how to make those designed to truly become a child's reality , we should use an experiment, the group of mice were randomly divided into two groups: A group and B group. Then, he told the breeder A group A group of mice particularly smart, and tell the breeder group B group B mice is of average intelligence . A few months later, these two groups of mice through the maze of tests, found that A group of rats than in group B mice smarter, able to be out of the maze and find food.
Thus, Professor Rosenthal received a revelation He put this revelation in the person's body with.
in a class roster, he randomly draw the names of several students, and then tell the teacher, these students through his observations and testing, particularly IQ high students, in fact, he did not understand the situation of students in the class.
affected by these words, the teachers really think these kids particularly smart, so the total child with a clever approach to deal with them. A year later that the results of several children in the class ahead.
long period of time, it will become the child's reality.
Rosenthal Effect is worth attention for each parent.
specific to family education for children is designed as the ideal parent image, the image may remain in the language, vocabulary: for example, intelligent, confident, healthy, moral, comfortable and so on. this time with the imagination necessary to understand the ways in which the image of the original abstract design into the reality of the child.
In practice, often Imagine the child's new image, new image of the child as the child's reality, no matter what it is like being a child. Parents should always imagine that when a child is what the wise? creative time look like? to imagine children will become smarter, more creative. In terms of mental qualities, we should imagine a child into a strong, confident, bold, dare say, has the capacity of people, and will be more psychological good. In moral terms, think of the children are right and wrong, and caring person. In health, no matter how the child's current physical condition, should the health of the children's imagination, and imagine that he will become healthy. In free state, the children think of the interest in learning, self-conscious, to make progress, want their children to manage their own lives, and good humor.
parents have to do once or twice a day so the imagination, in particular, in the face of a kid.
for older children, but also inspired by children themselves induce such visions. let the children often imagine and experience a new image of yourself. because all the kids, even the underachieving too idealistic child, also have their own special interest in the subject; then weak children, have had a bold strong time; character do not shy child, and there have been lively and cheerful time; then withdrawn children also had and a good partner happy playing time. The so-called experience, find yourself in life is to have had that feeling. For a moment the health and happiness can be, we can understand. These feelings found in everyone.
if the parents designed to treat children for their new image, you can approach through imagination and experience into this new image.
children to appreciate, understand our children, our children equally, we care about children, we respect the children, our patience, we listen, our wisdom, our calm, we are confident. Please give it a try, imagine that he is kind of children, understanding , respect, equality, listening, caring and enjoy. Imagine a child in their own eyes, you can find the feeling.
(2) describe the established method described
established method, which uses language to describe themselves as children continue to the image of the design.
established method described results in a child with very obvious, it can be said immediate.
how do you describe your child? how do you introduce your child to others? how do you evaluate the child himself? this Description is very important. particularly when small children, play a decisive role in this description.
in the intellectual, you have to so describe their children: My children particularly smart, especially the love of their brains, new ideas particularly and often unexpected problems can think of others, in particular, love of learning. When you described the child, which describes the impact on children began a long time to be recognized for their children. parents of the child's description is very important. This also investigated a number of successful family education is an important conclusion derived from.
strong quality of the child should be how to describe it? you describe his strong, adaptable, dare to social, dare to speak, not afraid of difficulties. Whether is a description of the child, or others described their children, for example, baby, you're a good boy, especially the brave, especially generous. children will feel that they have this quality. describe the more children the more courageous, the larger side.
the moral aspects of the children, to this description: My child is willing to care for others, and know how to care for others; my child be able to distinguish right from wrong, distinguish between good and bad; my children good, but not naive; I children can take care of themselves, to protect themselves; my child interested in social, good at uniting people hh
the health of children, to this description: My child's body are particularly good, getting better and better with age; I The children rarely get sick, get sick like the rest latter; my child's psychological health hh
also particularly comfortable for the child's status should be established with a description of the way: for example, my kids love learning, learning Special conscious, hobbies; my child is willing to manage their own lives, never let the parents worry about; my child motivated hh
kinds of technology. you what the child is designed, how will the future of the child. At the same time to completely get rid of a bad past, a description of the child as soon as possible to eliminate their negative impact on children. Some parents are always used in front of others reprove the child faces as well this is not good, that is bad image. For example, you can often family, friends, the children say this: After learning, I now become a new parent. When I was a new look in front of the children, I am kind and I appreciate the children to understand , equality, and I am concerned about the child, respect for children, I patient, I listen, I am a child guidance, I relaxed, I'm confident.
(3) any act to establish the image of the design method
should be reflected by an act, by behavior set down.
you designed for children of any new quality, should create opportunities for children by the quality of behavior, this quality is fixed down slowly. For example, you give the child the image of a bold design, but Children are still relatively timid. how to do it? through behavior that is not enough light. kids to McDonald's to eat, you can make him something to counter their own. He may be timid start, but after finally inspired to do after the induction of and want to be sure of his bravery: You are so good; very bold (This also is the the image of the design, should be fixed by acts.
If your child design a clever image, how do you do? children may be watching cartoons, If this story compiled by you to, look like the ending? . This behavior becomes a clever feature to consolidate down.
If you want to cultivate children's love of learning to cultivate the habit, then, when faced with something of interest caused by their children, the children especially love to learn where their own wondering when you should make sure that this behavior, then the kids love the quality of learning was consolidated once.
you want to design the image of their own children to care for others, can not rely on your mouth and say, but to action. For example, where you days brought him out and saw a small child than his crying in the street, you say: , said: , should let the children repeat the behavior once, twice, three times. For small children, the establishment of a quality, repeated two or three times has a good effect. older children to create a more stable quality, you only through the appropriate behavior, and let this behavior repeatedly, good quality can also be established.
So, with by behavior change. We in the sound, repeated several times, and soon had the courage to speak out loud.
to establish a new image through the act.
parents new quality of their own design, but also established by an act. No matter what quality, there are several time behavior, you will find the feeling, this quality gradually established in the body down. This is the immediate thing, is not difficult.
as long as it is determined to act, put the process in the conduct set down a new image .
own design when you give the parents a nice image, you can not always stay in their own design, and interaction in the behavior of children and set down. In the past the children not nice, not enough patience, not appreciate , not equal, and today, the children back, and you treat him with a new, listened with great interest the first time his school to talk about things that never used the first method of using the past to appreciate him, praise him. This when you design your own image to be your parents behave.
way in the new act, the parents of the new image began to be finalized in you.
what you can not do at all times in the past smiling, when out of the house today and saw a neighbor, to see the security area, go to work to meet your colleagues treat you with a smile consciously. After several days of practice, you will find that the behavior of put this smile face Design with a smile fixed down. slowly habit you a little more blessings.
the image of the design of all children, including parents, the image of their own design, are available through the ; be established, the original image remain in the conceptual design into a new self-living, living a new child.
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